


You say I'm not alone, but I am petrified

by CorranBlue, Crab_Lad



Series: Crab's need for clone wars content [9]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Introspection, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Post-Order 66, Reunions, idk how to tag sorry, messages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23553358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorranBlue/pseuds/CorranBlue, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crab_Lad/pseuds/Crab_Lad
Summary: The Empire hung around their necks like a python. Sleek, elegant but deadly. One wrong move, one foot out of line and that python would squeeze, crushing everything in its path. The Empire was cold, desolate, uncaring. They were strong in their might, but heartless.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & Luke Skywalker, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, other gen relationships
Series: Crab's need for clone wars content [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662106
Comments: 20
Kudos: 371





	You say I'm not alone, but I am petrified

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Fake You Out by Twenty One Pilots
> 
> Anyway Treetart wanted a post order 66 reunion. I got carried away :)
> 
> ALSO SHOUT OUT TO CORRANBLUE FOR HELPING ME SO MUCH WITH THIS FIC I LITERALLY COUDLNT DO IT WITHOUT THEM! THEY WERE NOT ONLY A BETA READER BUT ALSO HIGHKEY HELPED ME WRITE HALF THE FIC thYERE A COAUTHOR AT THIS POINT

The Empire hung around their necks like a python. Sleek, elegant but deadly. One wrong move, one foot out of line and that python would squeeze, crushing everything in its path. The Empire was cold, desolate, uncaring. They were strong in their might, but heartless. 

In some ways, Cody mused, it was worse than Kamino. 

At least the Kaminoans were trying to care for their physical health. They had been adamant on keeping the _vode_ in peak physical condition. Rigorous training, controlled diets, mandatory health check ups had seen to it. 

Here, though, Cody was invisible. More invisible than he ever had been. They had stripped him of his rank, of his duty, his name, even his _number_ . As much as he had hated that number, it was still _his_. It still was part of who he was.

He had been known as CC-2224, _Kote_ , Cody, and now, Unit 603.

And he had become Unit 603 when they forced him too, when they stripped him of his own mind. Those cursed chips Rex had warned him about had taken him away, locked deep in his subconscious screaming to get out. 

Unit 603 had been content working for the Empire, under a cruel nat-born commander. He committed atrocities with barely the blink of an eye. He was no better than a meat-droid, slaughtering whole planets on unjust orders. He watched _vod_ after _vod_ get replaced with nat-borns. Worlds had burned because of him, families devastated. And not once had Unit 603 thought of the [traitor].

During those long years, Cody had fought, watching from behind the window of his eyes. He fought with everything he had, fighting that blasted chip. It was stronger than he had expected, for something so small. He was determined to win, for his _vode,_ for his General. But slowly, he stripped it down piece by piece until he slowly became himself again. 

Not Unit 603, not CC-2224, just Cody.

That first night as Cody, he broke down. Tears spilled from his eyes, ones he had held in since the war started. He was still there, still fighting in a war he didn’t believe in. Everyone he had counted on before was gone. Rex, the 212th, Fox, Bly, Ponds, Wolffe, Obi-

Cody flinched into himself, nails digging harshly into his arms as he attempted to regain a steady breathing pattern. He didn’t deserve the right to say _his_ name. After all, it was on Cody’s orders that his General had been shot down. 

It was that night Cody resisted the urge to eat his blaster, to fall into the sweet mercy of darkness where he wouldn’t hurt. But death would be too kind for him. Cody deserved to rot in his guilt. It crushed him slowly, from the outside, spreading through his body and making him beg for relief. He couldn’t stand the sight of himself, of who he had become. A monster. Someone who had ordered the death- killed the man he loved.

So, jaw clenched, eyes hard, he vowed that he wouldn’t die. He would live with his grief and try to atone. 

Becoming a spy seemed the most logical option. At every turn, he sabotaged the Empire when he could. He took a few beatings for it, trying to play the role as a malfunctioning clone like they wanted. 

Then the empire retired all clones and-

_And suddenly, there was Rex._

Face hard, years older than Cody remembered with a disgusting beard on his face, Rex pulled him out of the wreckage of his ship. 

“You’re not dying on me today, _vod_ ,” his brother growled, hauling Cody over his shoulder just in time for the tie-fighter to explode. 

A moment later, Cody blacked out. 

* * *

The wind blew across the walker, sneaking in through the gaps, bringing sand curling around the floor with it. 

Cody stood on the outside balcony, looking out to the dry, empty plane of Seelos. The steady crash and grind of the legs were nothing but white noise in the background, drowning out his thoughts. Idly, he reached up to brush his fingers across his new scar, hidden under peppery gray and black hair. 

He had made sure to shave that morning, but had barely taken in his own appearance. He knew it must be similar to Rex, Gregor, and Wolffe’s, older, flecks of white darting around in his hair, the lines of his face deeper and wiser.

Five years.

He had only been in the Empire for five years. 

It had seemed like longer, a lifetime. 

A hand clapped down onto his shoulder, jolting him from his thoughts.

He turned towards Rex, meeting his brother’s sad eyes with his own. Rex knew. Cody had come clean about everything the night before, the pain, the horror. Rex hadn’t experienced the Empire but Cody… Cody had. 

“You alright, _vod_ ?” Rex asked, keeping his voice low and barely audible over the wind.  
Cody shrugged Rex’s hand off, nodding, “Yeah. I’m fine.” 

He could tell that Rex saw through him, but was thankful Rex didn’t push. Instead, the two sat outside, enjoying their new home in silence.

Months passed and Cody grew restless. 

There was nothing but the simple monotony of getting up, eating, walking, hunting, sleeping. There was nothing. Nothing to do. Nothing to fight. And it was slowly driving Cody insane. The walker became claustrophobic, not enough space for the four of them. 

And so Cody would wander. He would walk so far in the distance he lost sight of the walker. Then he would just sit and… think. 

Force, he wanted to punch something. 

It didn’t help that he was cranky. He didn’t mean to take his anger out on his brothers but- but it spilled over sometimes, like a wave. Crashing into him harsh and fast, sweeping any common sense out until Rex would drag him out and spar with him. 

It still wasn’t enough. His instincts, his nerves, every atom in his body was straining, begging to go out and _fight_ something. To _do_ something. 

“Hey, you two!” Wolffe yelled out from the walker, “Gregor said we have a message from Ahsoka.”

Cody froze instantly. Ahsoka- Ahsoka was alive? As far as he knew, according to the Empire at least, Ahsoka had died. The details of it were vague, but it was believed she died on Mandalore. Then again, the report had also said Rex had died. And here Rex was, alive and well. 

Could that mean…?

No. He shoved that thought down into the deep depths of his mind. That was a dangerous line of thought. Instead, he dusted himself off and raced over to the walker, Rex trailing behind. When he climbed in, he caught the tail end of Gregor and Ahsoka’s conversation.

“I won’t always be able to call- Rex!” 

Ahsoka smiled wide when Rex and Cody filtered into view of the screen. Her montrals had grown longer since the last time he had seen her, her lekku ending just below her armpits. She looked so much older than she should have been. There was a new scar on her arm, and bags under her eyes. The way she carried herself spoke of maturity, of a long life lived and horrors witnessed.

Her smile brightened even more, eyes flickering beyond the projector as she greeted, “Commander Cody, I’m glad you’re alive.” 

How it hurt to be addressed with both his former title and his name. Thousands of memories from a lifetime ago flashed before him, but he shook them off, leaning into the comforting touch Rex placed on his back.

“You too, Commander Tano,” He greeted back, tilting his head in acknowledgment. 

Something in the Togruta’s eyes saddened, but whatever she was planning on saying next was cut off by Rex.

“Ahsoka,” Rex greeted warmly, with that smile he usually reserved for shinies. For their _vode’ike_. “It’s good to see you again.” 

“Rexter, I said you were going to see me again,” Ahsoka responded, amused. “I’m afraid this isn’t much of a social call, though.” 

The easy atmosphere in the walker shifted, coiled with tension. All four _vode_ were on edge. Cody hoped that Ahsoka was asking for help, anything to get him off the dustbowl of a planet he had called home for several months. 

They waited in silence before Ahsoka took in a deep breath, “I’ve been working with the Rebellion. Senator Organa and Senator Amidala were spearheading the cause long before the Empire rose to power before Padme… died.” 

The Rebellion wasn’t news to Cody, he had heard whispers of one during his years in the Empire. According to the rumors, the rebels posed almost no threat at all. Cody’s impression had been that they were disorganized, measly, fighting a losing battle. But Ahsoka working for them? That was new.

Ahsoka paused, her lekku twitching minutely before she continued, “I know your brothers have sacrificed so much for our wars already, but we- we need help. I understand if you are done fighting, you didn’t have a choice when the Republic used you as soldiers. And Cody, you didn’t have a choice with the Empire. What I’m saying is this, this is _your_ choice. But we would be honoured to fight alongside you again, for the greater good.” 

The walker fell into dead silence again, heavy and obtuse. Cody knew he would fight, knew he would join her cause. Yet when he looked at Rex, all he saw was conflict. He could see the protests resting on the tip of his tongue, the arguments swirling around in his brain. But Cody had already resigned himself to his choice. Whether Rex joined him or not, he would fight. 

Wolffe finally broke the silence, “Thank you for the offer, ma’am, but I’m going to have to decline. I know me and my-”

“I’ll join,” Cody cut off, sharpening his gaze into a glare. “I’m willing to fight.” 

A tired sigh sounded from his side, as Rex stepped forward, “I’ll be there too, Commander. How else am I going to keep this one out of trouble?” 

Wolffe huffed, and turned to Gregor, “You staying?” 

Gregor looked perplexed, more than usual, but nodded. 

Ahsoka was clearly trying to hide a smile, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards. But her eyes filled with something like relief. 

“Aunty ‘soka?” 

The small voice seemed to startle the Togruta, as she nearly jumped out of her chair. A small blonde head popped up on the screen, climbing onto her lap. Blue eyes peered curiously at them. The youngling raised one of his hands to wave, “Hi! I’m Luke!” 

Relaxing, Ahsoka let out a slow breath, smiling down at the kid. She reached up to ruffle his hair before turning back to the _vode_. 

“I’ll send you the rendezvous coordinates,” she promised, “Obi-Wan will be happy to hear that you’ll be coming.” 

An oh so familiar voice hissed out, “Ahso-” 

The call shut off. 

It took a moment and then it hit.

_Coruscanti accent. Obi-Wan._

Oh, Force. 

“-ody? Cody!?” 

He couldn’t breathe, it was as if all the air had vacated his lungs. His entire body shut down, as he crashed to the floor shaking. No, no it couldn’t- it couldn’t be true. Cody had seen Ob- the General fall, had seen the blast hit its mark. Cody _killed_ him, hadn’t he? 

Fueled by the need to know, he lurched to his feet, grasping for the comm. All he could think about was the need to call back, the need to confirm that it was _real_. He smashed down on the button, but got no response. Before he could go again, hands pulled him back, tight and unyielding.

“ _Gev_ ,” Rex hissed, holding Cody tight to his chest. Rex left no room for Cody to wiggle out of the hold, not for the lack of Cody trying. His panic was making him unsteady at best, uncoordinated at worst. All his training, all his control, gone at the thought, the sound, the realization that the General was alive. 

A broken sob left his lips as he clung to his brother. The other two had already filtered out, giving the privacy they themselves had needed many times before. Cody struggled to pull in a breath, trying and failing to speak. 

Rex only hugged him tighter, maintaining his crushing grip on the other. Rex was, after all, the only one Cody had confided in about the General. Cody had spent many nights ranting and raving about Kenobi’s poor habits, and his kindness for the _vode_.

Finally, his lungs held some of the oxygen he desperately needed, allowing him to gasp out, “He’s- he’s alive!” 

But he couldn’t stop the trembling that shook his entire body. Not when every nerve tingled, numbing him to the rest of his body. It felt as though he was watching a holovid, from an outside perspective. Like the trembling, weak mess in Rex’s arms wasn’t him. 

“ _Vod,_ ” Rex snapped, but soothed his tone into something more gentle, “Cody, you need to get yourself together.” 

Everything sounded far away, distant as if behind a wall. Cody barely thought about it as his body nodded, swallowing, “Yeah- yeah.” 

“We’ll find out what happened, alright? But I need you to calm down, I need you to breathe. Remember what we talked about?” 

His body nodded again, delayed and lagging.

“Alright, five things you can see?” 

It was the routine Rex always put him through during his panic attacks. It had helped so much during the war, when everything had seemed too much and Cody needed to be reminded to breathe. Rex had apparently learned it from Kix, who had used the technique to help Jesse, Echo and others. 

“You. The screen. Wolffe’s helmet,” Cody began dimly, dazed, and struggling to focus or think. He still felt so far from the situation. “Uh, Gregor’s stew. My hands.” 

Humming, Rex eased his hold slightly, allowing Cody some space, “Okay. Four things you can feel.” 

“Your shirt. The-the wind from outside. Vibrations from the walker. Me, shaking.”

Slowly, he became more aware of the world around him, his focus sharpening.

“Three things you can hear.” 

“I can hear the legs of the walker, Wolffe and Gregor talking outside and your voice. I can smell tonight’s dinner and… and Seelos. I can’t taste anything.” 

Rex nodded and pulled back, but kept a gentle touch on Cody’s shoulders. There were crease marks disturbing his forehead, and a frown pulling his beard down. 

“How are you feeling?” 

Early on, Cody had learned lying to Rex never did any good. Rex always saw through him, could always tell when he wasn’t being honest. 

“Tired,” he sighed, resting his body weight on Rex. “Rex… he’s alive.” 

“I know, _vod_.”

* * *

Fitting into the Rebellion was easier than Cody had expected. Being a clone, he thought he would be ridiculed, harassed. The nat-borns during the War hadn’t been kind, why should he expect anything different now?

The second shock came when he glimpsed a few former Separatists mingling around. They observed him with barely disguised anger and fear. Cody didn’t bother hiding his own distaste for them. For the most part, however, they steered clear of each other. 

Both Cody and Rex had been given a room to share on the rebels’ ship. Their home base was better suited in the stars, making it difficult for the Empire to find them. It reminded Cody of those three long years spent on the Negotiator, only setting foot on a planet to fight.

Tiredly, he dropped down onto his new bed, burying his hands in his face. The memories were overwhelming, and it didn’t help that the rebels had stolen a Star Destroyer. More often than once, he had accidently walked to where his General’s quarters had been on muscle memory alone. 

Beside him, the secure commlink the rebels had given him chirped. He almost jumped, but years of discipline had trained the reaction out of him. 

Warily, he lifted it up, accessing the lone message. 

_[Hello, my dear commander. As you can see, I am not dead.]_

Forced, dry laughter followed the comment, making Cody’s heart clench. He waited in anticipation for the rest of Obi-Wan’s message, ready to accept any fate he would be given.

_[It’s been a long few years, hasn’t it Cody?]_

It must have been his imagination, but the General’s voice sounded… wet, like he was holding back tears. It was a tone Cody had heard often during long conversations late in the night, when the two would sit together in the General’s quarters. The emotion seemed out of place here. 

_[I was surprised- I’m glad you’re alright. There have been many nights when I wondered where you were, what you were doing. I know many of the 212th had gotten out, I was hoping you had as well. I’ve been staying with Ahsoka, raising Luke whom you met when Ahsoka called.]_

Obi-Wan paused shortly. Cody recognized this as him replaying his words. It was something Obi-Wan only did when speaking to the men, when he wanted to make sure he said the right thing.

_[Luke is Anakin’s son, I should mention. The young boy has his father’s bright presence in the Force. He’s exceptionally kind, and he’s excited to meet you someday… If that is what you would like?]_

There was another heavy pause, and Cody could almost _feel_ the apprehension Obi-Wan had. Cody was willing to meet the kid, sure, but Obi-Wan hadn’t even hinted that he wanted to see Cody. 

_[...I’m glad you’re doing well. Please, stay safe out there.]_

The message cut off abruptly, drowning Cody in the still silence that followed. It rang in his ears, whiting out his mind. For a full minute he didn’t move, didn’t breathe. Just sat there with his Jedi’s words echoing in his mind.

* * *

Cody never replied, too afraid, too unsure. How do you apologize for ordering someone to die? But the messages never stopped. He kept everyone of them, even if he couldn’t watch them at first.

* * *

[ _Hello Cody! I’ve heard you’ve been busy. Ahsoka says that you’ve been taking on as many missions as you can. Reminds me of the war. You deserve a break, you know. Ahsoka and I have been attempting to help the wookies on Kashyyyk. I hope you’re doing well.]_

_[Hello there, it’s been a while since my last message. I’m afraid to say we had a close call with Vader and had to go into hiding because of it. Ahsoka demanded we cut all communications. She’s grown into a strong young woman hasn’t she? I remember when she was young, reckless, and eager to prove herself. -chuckle- Luke was grouchy during the whole thing, but managed to build his own droid. It’s only half finished, and it's quite… crude but he is only a child. Until next time Cody.]_

_[Ba’vodu Kote? Wow this is so cool! Uncle Ben has told me a lot of stories about you! Did you know that I built a droid??? And! And Uncle Ben is teaching me to use the Force! I heard that you and Uncle Ben were really close during the Clone Wars. He said you were really cool. Do you think I could meet you someday? Oh! I have to go, they're back! Bye Uncle Cody!]_

* * *

“Senator Organa,” Cody greeted in surprise. When he joined the Rebellion, he hadn’t expected to meet the leader of the organization. 

Bail Organa had always been a distant figure. Cody knew him and Obi-Wan had been friends, close friends if what Obi-Wan said was anything to go by. 

The man smiled at him warmly, holding out a hand that Cody accepted, giving it a small shake. 

“You must be Commander Cody? Ben has told me a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you in person. I’m glad to hear you got out of the Empire alright.” 

“Wouldn’t have without my brothers,” Cody defended, his shoulders pulled back and spine straight in parade rest. This was a superior, and a senator. He deserved respect.

Organa nodded, posture oozing comfort and ease, even as he clasped his hands behind him, answering, “Yes, your brothers. Competent are they not? I’m thrilled we’ve managed to save so many, I only wish we could have saved more.” 

“What is the purpose for your visit?” 

He hoped it wasn’t rude, but talking about his _vode_ left him feeling guilty. For hurting those he had turned against when they had been deemed ‘traitors’. There were still so many in the Empire’s grasp, many more dead by their own hand, and many more who had died in waves because of careless officers. 

Bail Organa shuffled forward a frowning young girl. She stared up at Cody with suspicious brown eyes, a small bun holding her darker brown hair up. A pout sat on her face, adding to the disgruntled expression on her face. Her eyes held wisdom, far too old for her age. 

She reminded Cody of Senator Amidala, with that fierce bravado, proud posture, and soft features. 

“This is my daughter Leia,” Organa introduced, smiling down at the little girl. “We were hoping you wouldn’t mind gathering a squad together to transfer her back to Alderaan? I’m afraid I’m supposed to head for Coruscant, my wife would prefer it if Leia here made it back home. We’re providing a ship and everything, we just need a few of you to guard her.”

The little girl let out a huff at the last statement, before glaring up at her father who only smiled down at her, with a twinkle in his eyes that only spoke of teasing. 

“Yes,” he agreed, knowing that he would’ve accepted this without Organal’s explanation, even if he appreciated it. “I’ll protect her, Senator.” 

Organa gave him a warm smile, “Thank you. Fulcrum told me I could count on you.” 

Fulcrum was- right. Ahsoka. He kept forgetting that the Commander had taken on a codename. It seemed redundant, as the only people who actually used it were Rebellion leaders. 

Soon enough, father and daughter said their goodbyes, a squad was gathered, and the ship was boarded. The two _vode_ who had taken over as their pilots raced each other to the front.

Leia giggled at the antics before turning back to Cody, Rex, and Racer, the three remaining _vode_ , as well as the Rebellion operatives Perry and Jace. 

“Father is overprotective, but I appreciate you helping him,” Leia finally said, her voice lower than Cody expected. 

Rex, ever the people person grinned, “You speak like a senator, let me guess, you’re going to take over after your father?” 

“Yes.” 

Cody raised his eyes at the bitter tone in the girl’s tone. 

“But you don’t want to,” Rex asked, choosing to lean against the wall, his posture loose and relaxed. But Cody could still see the edge to him. This _was_ a protection job after all. 

“My father is a senator and therefore I will follow in his footsteps,” she responded, as if reading from a script. It was rehearsed, that much Cody could tell. 

It was the same amount of distaste Obi-Wan used to speak with, when they talked about his duty as both Jedi and General. 

“But that didn’t answer his question,” Cody finally pipped in, leveling Leia with a look. 

The little girl sighed, revealing a wisdom far older than she was, “I want to help with the Rebellion! I want to fight and, and help people. Not talk in the boring Senate!” 

Now that sounded more like a girl her age. 

Rex knelt down in front of her, resting on one knee and bracing his arms on his other leg. He examined her for a moment, not doubt taking in the familiarity Cody himself saw in this girl.

“Well, short stack, no one can tell you what to do with your life. You’re young and have a long life ahead of you. If you want to help the Rebellion when you’re older, you should. That’s lots of ways to help people. The Rebellion needs more than just fighters. But don’t worry about all that yet, okay? You still have a lot of growing to do.” 

She glared at him without any real heat, turning away with a huff. 

“Careful there, Captain,” Perry said, smirking. “Seems you offended her.” 

* * *

_[Hello again, Cody. I hope you’ve done well since last month. I started growing some plants again. They’re growing wonderfully. I think some of the seeds we picked up were roses. Did you know Ahsoka was allergic to roses? She refuses to go near them now, lest she sneeze. -chuckle- Luke managed to raise a boulder today. He’s made significant progress in his abilities. Stay safe out there!]_

_[Cody. I heard Ashoka found a few more of the_ vode _. I haven’t seen her in a while, not since she joined up with you and your team on base. I think she’s angry with me. I can’t say I blame her. I’m not exactly happy with myself either, Cody. -sigh, silence,- I miss you. I don’t… I don’t blame you for what happened.]_

**-Delete Message?-**

**-Yes-**

**-Message Deleted-**

* * *

Wolffe only gave him a sharp, angry look, snapping in Mando’a, “ _At least you have your Jetti, vod.”_

Cody reared back as if he had been physically struck, mouth dropping and for once, at a loss for words. 

It was true wasn’t it? Even if he didn’t want to admit it.

“You’re nothing but a _huut’un_!” Wolffe hissed, stepping forward to jab Cody’s chest. “You have a second chance! Don’t you throw it away!” 

“You didn’t shoot your _jetii_! I did! I betrayed him, you don’t know what that’s like,” Cody said bitterly. 

“Oh, what? Because I’m not the one who shot Plo down, I don’t know how it feels?” Wolffe shoved Cody’s chest again. “The chips got me too, Cody. If I were there, I _would_ have shot him, just like you did.”

“But you didn’t! I betrayed him, I was the first clone to get the order, I was the one who passed it on. None of this would have happened if I had just-”

“Just what, Cody? You didn’t choose this, you didn’t-”

“ **I don’t deserve a second chance, Wolffe!** ” Cody screamed. “I thought I killed him! For five years, surrounded on all sides by the Empire, by my failure, I thought I killed my General.”

“But you didn’t! Cody, it wasn’t you. Even if he had died, it wouldn’t have been your fault.” Wolffe shook his head. “Cody, your _jetii_ is alive, and he cares enough to message you.”

Cody tried to turn away but Wolffe grabbed his arm. 

“ _Kote_ , he wants you in his life again,” Wolffe locked him into eye contact. “You are wasting this _vod_. You have a second chance and you are throwing it away.” There was a brief silence. 

“I would _kill_ to be in your shoes, Kote. If Plo were here,” He closed his eyes. “If he were here, nothing could move me from his side.”

“Hey, guys, let’s just, settle down now alright?” Gregor asked, eyes a little wild and shaking. His speech had started stuttering. 

Wolffe relaxed, grumbling. He muttered an apology to Gregor before storming out. 

“So,” Gregor said, trademark cheerfulness returning to his voice. Cody envied his brother for being oblivious to the mood of the room left by Wolffe’s departure. “How’s the Rebellion?” 

Cody let out a breath slowly, turning his back to the door to face Gregor head on. This is what he needed, just… to catch up with his brothers that he _missed_ for Force’s sake!

“It’s alright, Rex and I have mostly been sent in on recon missions. Gregor, you won’t believe how many 212th have gotten out.” 

“I thought we were the only two?” Gregor mused, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. 

Cody shook his head, “No, there’s more. I’ll try to bring them back sometime to say hello.” 

“I think I’d like that.”

* * *

_[We ran into a nest of gundarks today, it made me think about Anakin. Luke was fearless, jumping right in with the ship to save us. He’s almost 6 now and already a decent pilot. Hope you’re doing well.]_

_[I found Naboo tea again, we visited Naboo to pay respects to Padme’s grave. The tea was as good as ever. It was your favorite, remember? The one that was sweet and bitter at the same time. I never understood why you liked it. The bitterness set me off, but it made me think of you. If I can find a way to send it to you, I will. Take care Kote.]_

_[Hello Cody, I’ve heard you’ve been busy. Taking out an entire Star Destroyer by yourself? That’s impressive. I’m not surprised, though. You are frighteningly competent. I tried to teach Ahsoka and Luke how to cook, it ended quite messily. I hope when you meet up with him and Ahsoka everything goes well. I would be there, but Master Yoda requires something of me. Be safe!]_

_\----_

With the hiss of metal, hydraulics, and pumps, the small ship touched down onto the platform. The whir in the air stopped, shutting off with the engines of the ship. Rebels crowded, preparing to refuel and restock even if the ship wouldn’t leave for another day or so. In this line of work, everyone had to be prepared to leave at a moment’s notice. You never knew when the Empire was going to arrive.

Cody stood beside Rex, Racer, Perry, Tub, Connor, along with many other Operatives that stood on the courtyard. The air blew past, knocking into them and then venting upwards before settling. 

He was happy they could finally meet up after the long years. But the movement, missions, and many other situations had stopped them from meeting beforehand. 

As soon as the ramp lowered, Ahsoka was already racing down over to Rex, tackling him in a fierce hug. It was only Rex’s build that saved them from falling over onto the ground, his balance and stability. Then, the small blonde boy from the first communication came trailing up behind Ahsoka, looking at Cody with wide eyes. 

Ahsoka pulled back, smiling softly at Rex before picking up the young boy up in her arms. Turning to Cody, she smiled at him. 

“Hello, Cody.” 

He nodded in greeting, “Ahsoka.” 

“ _Kote!_ ” Luke cried, tumbling out of Ahsoka’s arms into Cody’s chest. 

Startled, Cody reached up to catch the child carefully as Luke placed a hand on his scar. The boy babbled for a little bit, telling him an update of what had been going on from his end. Ahsoka winced in sympathy before she was led astray by Rex to give the little boy and Cody some space. 

“Slow down, slow down,” Cody urged, placing the boy down on his feet. “I can’t keep up with you when you speak so fast _verd’ika_. I heard you were building a droid?” 

Luke gasped, “So you _are_ getting Uncle Ben’s messages!! Well my droid, he’s about this big now!” Luke held a hand up, over his head, to indicate height, “and not only that but! It can talk now!” 

Cody couldn’t help but smile down at Luke, who in a single message, had already stolen his heart. He had gathered from the messages that Obi-Wan was raising Luke with help from Ahsoka. With the fact he was Force sensitive and had that familiar spark promising no trouble, it wasn’t hard to accept that he was Skywalker’s kid.

“That’s impressive, kid,” Cody admired, still unsure how to handle the situation. If anything, Luke seemed totally absorbed with him. 

“Thanks Ba’vodu!” He grinned, all teeth with one missing. Frankly, this kid was adorable. 

Cody settled down on the floor to talk to him, watching as the 9 year old sat down in front of him and pouting before moving into Cody’s lap. Well- Okay. This was… nice actually. 

“Who taught you Mando’a?” 

Luke bounced up at that, “Oh! That would be Uncle Ben! He says that I should know it since I’m a little warrior like you and Ba’vodu Rex! And Ba’vodu Wolffe and Ba’vodu Gregor!!! Oh! And Ba’vodu Wolffe has a really cool fake eye!!! We saw him the other day!” 

Rex came over not long after, sitting down and taking over with Luke while Cody spoke to Ahsoka. It was nice to talk with someone from his past, especially someone who he didn’t have to worry about, or would require emotional processing prior. 

It was a refreshing break from the strangers and almost friends he worked with. 

And in some way, it helped him further understand who he was and who he had become. 

* * *

_[Cody, we’ve been lost in an asteroid field because one of our engines blew out. These newer modeled Imperial ships really are lacking in function. It’s like the only thing they were built for was to cause as much destruction as they can. Oh! I finally got in contact with Bail the other day. He told me that you helped him protect his daughter several months ago. Fiery little thing isn’t she? -amused silence- Well, I have to go help Ahsoka now. Until next time.]_

_[Ba’vodu! I stole Uncle Ben’s pad again to talk to you. Did you know my dad was THE Anakin Skywalker? Ahsoka and Ben tell me that he was really cool during the war. He told me that Ba’vodu Rex was his captain!!! Oh!!! Can you tell Ba’vodu Rex I say hi? And that I think he’s really cool and I can’t wait to see you again!!]_

_[Cody, so sorry about that. I hope you don’t mind Luke messaging you? Though I’m not sure if you get these. I hope you do, or I’ll look like an old fool, lov- -sad, stunned silence- Sorry. I’ll talk to you next week. Be safe, ner’al’verde.]_

* * *

His head was fuzzy, warm and sleepy. It probably wasn’t the brightest idea to attend the party with Rex, even less bright trying to drink his brother under a table. His tolerance wasn’t what it once had been. 

Cody slumped against the wall of his room, running a hand through his mostly gray hair, sleek like metal. He shrugged out of his jacket before falling onto his bed, already reaching for the comm. 

He wanted to see his General’s warm smile, those bright eyes that were shining, blue and bright. The copper hair that he had longed to run his hands through, had only done once. It wasn’t enough to just hear his voice anymore. He was finally ready to see his face, after so many years. 

Starting at the first ever message, he settled in. There were over a hundred messages at this point, as Obi-Wan had sent them monthly, then weekly and now daily. It was almost too much, seeing how he had changed over the years, seeing how the years changed him. After so long without seeing Obi-Wan’s face, it almost hurt him to watch. Every smile, every laugh, every time he scratched his beard. His once bright ginger hair, faded to a more strawberry blonde. Wrinkles had deepened, or cropped up in other areas. It suited him, Cody mused through the tears that had cropped up. 

Blinking at the device, he pressed down on the ‘replay’ button. 

Nothing happened, except a small red blinking light. 

He blinked away some tears, the letters clearing up a little in his vision.

Oh, Oh _kriff._

Cody dropped it in shock, his clumsy fingers slipping even as he tried to grasp for it. It clattered to the bed, still recording. 

“Kriff, kriff, kriff,” he hissed, reaching for it again. He grabbed it, staring at it blankly. He should just end the recording, delete it. But something made him stop, and he swallowed. His nerves spiked, upsetting his stomach. “I-”

The door slid open, and, panicking, Cody hit the end button, watching as the device finished. Rex practically fell into the room, heading right for his bed and crashing. 

Swallowing, Cody looked back at the device, staring at the “Sent!” message sitting innocently on his screen. 

Feeling as though he could weep for days, he threw the device onto the floor and buried his head in his tear-stained pillow.

* * *

_[Cody, dear, are you getting enough sleep? You looked worn down. I know you tend to throw yourself head first into your duties. But don’t forget about you. Take care of yourself.]_

_[Luke has found a Porg. We visited Ach-Too to see the first ever Jedi temple, and he managed to sneak one on board. I’m afraid the little creature has become quite attached to Luke. I really don’t have the heart to tell him we can’t keep it.]_

_[We flew by a nebula today, the colors reminded me of Christophsis. It had a similar teal shading with its crystalline features? It is a weird thing to get sentimental over, I know.]_

* * *

“It’s an infiltration mission they said! It’ll be easy, they said,” Rex grumbled as they crawled through the gates. “And why did they have to put me with you?” 

“Because we’re a great team and you love me?” Cody offered, equally as grumpy as Rex. “Besides, I’m the brains you’re the brawn.” 

“Har, har, so original.” 

The Rebel Operative who was with them let out a sharp breath, “Will you two _shut up!_ We’re trying to _not_ get caught here.”

Rex only shot Cody a shit-eating grin before picking his pace back up, squeezing in through the tight vent. For once, Cody was happy for the Kaminoans ‘improvements’. Cody felt as fit as ever, still ready to fight. 

Quietly, they approached the drop zone, circling around it so Veelay could drop down first into the room. Rex rolled his eyes at the less than subtle noise, before dropping down and proving that silence was possible. Cody followed, a little more lead-footed than Rex, but quiet enough that he landed with nothing more than a soft thud.

Quickly, they took out the two guards in the room before sneaking over to the Databank to get the information. 

“Careful,” Cody hissed in warning. He really hated that he and Rex were only there as muscle. “You can’t just pick it up casually! There are fail safes!” 

Veelay scoffed, rolling her eyes as she shifted closer to the display, “You would know, wouldn’t you?”

Rather uncarefully, she reached in for the card and triggered an alarm. 

“Fuck!” Cody hissed, hauling ass back to the vent. 

It was too high to get back into for him, but Veelay had no trouble launching herself in. Rex and Cody were left to fend for themselves, footsteps barrelling down the hallway towards the room they were in. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” Rex hissed out, already reaching for his pistols, “how the hell do we get out?” 

They were there, right at the door, already working to break it down. They could hear the technicians strip the door pad off the wall. 

Cody tossed him a manic grin, reaching for his own gun, “We improvise!” 

Groaning, Rex grabbed his other pistol, “I don’t like your tone.” 

The first Stormtrooper filtered in, only to be immediately caught in a headlock as Cody choked him until he passed out. Rex opened fired on the rest, trying his best to break the ranks. Snatching up the fallen ‘trooper’s gun, he raced over, threw it at one and shot him point blank with his own. The squad was sloppy, disjointed. All of them lacking the fineness that usually came with being a clone trooper. 

One ‘trooper had their gun shot out of their hand and had the brilliant idea to try hand-to-hand combat with Cody. Within a minute they were down for the count. Rex managed to get the rest taken care of before they snuck into the hall. Alarms blared throughout the building. 

“Ready to steal a ship?”

Rex sighed again, “And everyone says I’m the reckless one.” 

* * *

_[One of my plants sadly died. It wasn’t suited for space travel it seems.]_

_[Honestly, I’m getting quite tired of the Empire trying again and again to conquer worlds after me and Ahsoka liberate them. After the Rebellion liberates them. Like, honestly don’t they have anything better to do?]_

_[I hope you don’t mind how frequent these messages have gotten. It’s been nice to talk to you, or at least, it seems like I’m talking to you. I don’t know if these messages actually reach your ears.]_

* * *

“Are you really going to sit in here? All night?” Rex glared down at Cody who was on the lower level of the training deck. 

Cody finished his workout routine, panting and wiping his face on his tank top. They finally had a full training facility, a work out facility now that they had found a planet. Yavin IV had proved to be a nice, safe place. The Empire had no files on it, and the planet was inhabited. IT had been a former civilization, judging by the ancient Jedi temples that dotted the landscape.

“Can’t sleep,” Cody responded, looking up at Rex. 

With a sigh, his brother climbed down the stairs that connected the two levels. He strode across the room and made to wrap his arm around him, but froze and wrinkled his nose. 

“You’re smelly.” 

Cody responded with a rude gesture, but didn’t bother his usual teasing laugh. Instead, he dropped down onto the bench chugging down his water. 

Rex watched him carefully, a disappointed frown on his face. He sat down next to Cody on the bench in silence. 

“ _Cuyir bic kyash_?” he asked carefully. 

Cody let out a hollow chuckle. No. Obi-Wan kept him up many nights, but for once that wasn’t what Cody was thinking of. Everytime he closed his eyes he could only imagine the _vode_ he had killed under the chip’s control, of the _vode he_ had abandoned, _of the families he had destroyed._

“I-” he cut off, trying to force the words out, “I have so much blood on my hands, Rex.” 

Shifting, Rex pulled Cody against him. He sat there rubbing at Cody’s back while Cody broke down, sobbing silently into Rex’s chest. In this moment, Cody was glad Rex wasn’t trying to comfort him. Comfort wouldn’t do much, it wouldn’t change what he thought about himself. It wouldn’t change what he had done in the past, and how he was dealing with it now. 

But being held like this, by someone who he had fought with in the past, it helped. To know that despite everything he’s done he had someone who loved and cared about him and wanted to hold him. 

“Hey, _Kote_ ,” Rex muttered quietly, “I know I might not be the right person to talk to about this. But I will be here for you, whenever you need. 

* * *

[ _Cody? Hello, hope you’re doing well. That’s all I really wanted to say. Sometimes I think about what you’re doing, the missions you’re on. I’ve been trying to figure out who I am without the war, without the Order. Without you._ ]

[ _Ba’vodu Cody! I’m almost 10. Can you believe that? Uncle Ben brought me to make my lightsaber. But I don’t like it, it's too… scary. I just want to fly the ship. Like my dad! He was a great pilot! Ahsoka says I have to go now, bye Uncle Cody!_ ]

_[Cody! One of my plants bloomed today. It was a brilliant blue flower with vibrant green leaves. I think it may be force sensitive, it seems to react to Luke when he walks by it.]_

* * *

When it finally happens, Cody doesn’t get much of a heads up. His comm chirps, letting him know he had a new message. 

_That’s odd,_ He thought. Obi-Wan had already sent a message that day. He looked around, and when he was satisfied no one seemed to need him, he pressed play. The image he was greeted with was a completely disheveled Obi-Wan looking utterly terrified. 

_[My dear commander, our last mission went a bit sideways. Things always seem to come up don’t they? We are having some troubles with our ship, necessitating a trip to Yavin IV. Which, as I understand, is where you are now.]_

There was a long pause. Obi-Wan looked around his space and tucked his hands into his cloak sleeves. The familiar gesture went right to Cody’s heart, even as he tried to process what Obi-Wan was saying. 

_[It seems we will be meeting soon. After nine years. Cody, my dear, I am coming. We will be there in two hours and I-]_

Obi-Wan cut off, taking a breath slowly in, then slowly out, as he looked up to stare Cody right in his eyes. 

_[Please don’t be in love with someone else.]_

Just like that the message ended. It was like finding out he was alive all over again, but more real. This was something he had thought about for a long time. Something he had only dared to believe would happen in his dreams. And that last line- He-

He sat in silence for a while, staring at nothing, before grabbing his comm, “Rex…”

“Cody? 

“Rex, he’s coming.” 

On the other end, Rex cursed, “Alright, _vod,_ I’m on my way. Just stay there, and watch your breathing okay?” 

Cody nodded, not realizing Rex couldn’t see him. Swallowing around the knot in his throat, he mechanically started pulling on his armour. Piece by piece he attached the plastoid plates, painted the wrong shade of yellow. 

By the time Rex arrived, he was staring blankly at the wall, trying to keep his breathing in control. Running over, Rex grabbed him by the shoulders, making direct eye contact with his brother. 

_"Vod,_ listen to me,” Rex says carefully, softly, “it’s going to be okay.” 

Cody only could nod before he started pacing, Rex sitting off to the side so he wouldn’t be alone. 

All of a sudden the air above their barracks roars with engines. It was _him._ He didn’t realize how long he had been pacing for. The second he heard the roar grow louder, he bolted out of the room and down the hall, completely forgetting his helmet. He pushed past several rebels, mind stuck on getting to the hangar. 

But-

Just before he got there, his body seized, freezing him in place. It took all his will power to put one foot in front of the other to step into the hangar. The moment he did, blue eyes met brown, both saying so much with a simple look. Obi-Wan opened his mouth, but before he could speak Luke barreled out from behind Obi-Wan. The boy ran over, giggling before jumping right at Cody who immediately came up to support the kid. 

Cody only half listened to the stories that spill from Luke, his eyes once more glancing up at Obi-Wan. For a moment, he could’ve sworn there were tears in the Jedi’s eyes. Obi-Wan sent him a soft smile. 

Ahsoka stepped out from behind Obi-Wan, knocking him on the shoulder. “Come on, Old Man,” she teased, already moving past him. Her lekku twitched in amusement at the disgruntled look on the Jedi’s face. “Aren’t you going to say hi to your Commander?” she finished. 

She reached over, pulling first Cody, then Rex into a hug. Cody responded as best he could with a kid in his arms. 

“Cody,” Ahsoka greeted, eyes sparkling with the usual mirth that held no good. 

His lips quirked up into something that could almost be a smile, he responded, “Commander.” 

With another smirk, one Rex returned, “Good to see you again, Rexter.”

What followed was a whispered conversation that Cody could barely make out, especially with Luke once again babbling in his ear. But it didn’t matter, because at that moment Obi-Wan finally started moving forward, blue eyes cloudy as he headed for Cody. Cody shut down, going stiff and feeling ill. What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say? 

" _B_ _a’vodu,_ why do you look all weird?” Luke’s head popped up in front of Obi-Wan’s. “Are you going to be sick? If you are, put me down.”

“No, no _ad’ika_ ,” Cody swallowed. “I just-”

“Your _ba’vodu_ and I haven’t seen each other in a long time,” he was there, suddenly. Right in front of him. His voice sounded so much more like he remembered without the static filter of the comm. “Why don’t you go get your droid acquainted with the others?”

Luke slithered down and ran away, shouting a goodbye over his shoulder as a droid slid after him. 

The two men just stood there, both at a loss for what to say. Cody thought he saw something in Obi-Wan’s eyes, but a cough from Rex startled him into action.

“General!” He said, breaking into a salute, pulling himself up to parade rest. 

Something in Obi-Wan’s eyes dimmed, his smile turning sad. A look that one could only notice from years of cataloging each and every expression.

“Cody, I think we’re past formalities by now, I-”

Whatever Obi-Wan was planning on saying next was cut off from a Rebellion Operative rushing over. Cody couldn’t help the thread of disappointment that spread through him. 

“Sirs,” he said panting. “A transmission came through from Scarif. You are needed in the strategy room immediately.”

The group of them started after the messenger, Cody somehow ending up slightly ahead of Obi-Wan. The wrongness of having him at his back struck a chord in his heart. Obi-Wan should be first, Cody should be watching his back-

Just as a million memories threatened to overwhelm him, he felt a gentle touch on his lower back and saw Obi-Wan move beside him. The man leaned a bit closer as they kept pace with each other. 

“Not quite how I thought that would go,” Obi-Wan murmured, sending an amused glance to Cody. 

Cody’s brain was shorting out for a different reason now. The General was so warm, and he smelled the same, but different. He was...here. And Cody didn’t ever want to leave his side again. This was where he belonged. 

Looking back, he couldn’t manage a response. But he knew Obi-Wan could read his eyes just as well as Cody could read Obi-Wan’s. Obi-Wan let out a little crooked smirk and focused on their destination, never once moving his hand. Cody could get used to this. 

When they entered the room he was knocked away from Obi-Wan’s side, and somehow ended up across the table from him. Frustration and...possessiveness made his stomach roll. He spent the entire meeting glaring at the floor. They were reunited only to be thrown on opposite ends of the room. 

Next thing he knew people were flooding out the door and the hand was on his back again. The meeting must have ended while he was lost in thought. Cody looked up to see knowing blue eyes. 

“I-” Cody’s throat closed up. He couldn’t. Not here. 

“Ahsoka and Rex are going to find Luke. They’re going to give him a tour of the base.” 

“Oh?” Cody swallowed. _Do you want a tour of the base?_ He thought loudly, hoping against hope that Obi-Wan would pick it up. 

Obi-Wan sighed and moved his hand up to Cody’s shoulder. He glanced around the still emptying room and brought his other hand up to rub his beard. Something in Cody’s chest forced him to look away. It was hard to keep looking at Obi-Wan, with all the guilt and pain he held. 

“Why don’t you and I-” Obi-Wan shook his head, looking a bit embarrassed. “We have a lot to talk about.”

Cody instantly understood. He led the way out of the room, all the way to his little office. It wasn’t more than a shoebox with a desk and a bed, but it was home. Obi-Wan’s hand was burning a hole in his armour, warming him straight down to his bones. 

Clearing his throat and swepping out his arm, Cody accidentally dislodged Obi-Wan’s hand. He mourned the loss of the comforting touch. It felt so surreal having Obi-Wan in his office, in his room. For so long he had been nothing more than an image, projected from the tiny device. 

“This is, well. This is it,” Cody stuttered, feeling really out of his depth. What was he supposed to say? He had acted really shitty, acted so much like a coward for not responding. 

Obi-Wan turned, hands raising up to cup Cody’s face. Both were silent as Obi-Wan traced over his facial scar, smoothing his palms over Cody’s forehead, bringing them down to brush over the bridge of his nose. Cody took in everything he could about Obi-Wan, the crow’s feet on the edge of those blue eyes. His hair was still that pinkish-whitish color. 

Cody let out a low sob, “I’m sorry I never replied. I just- I didn’t think I could handle it. It didn’t feel real and I-” 

“It’s okay,” Obi-Wan assured, smiling up at him with that sad look in his eyes, “You don’t need to explain. I’m just so happy you’re alive.” 

Letting out a bitter, wet laugh, “I know- I know we had that night. I know we said we would discuss what it meant after. And it’s been nine years I- _Ni kar’taylir darasuum._ I have. Since the second year of the war. I can’t- I can’t change what happened in the past, I can’t change what happened between us. But I’ve missed you, even if I didn’t respond. I missed you so much. I- I’m sorry, General.” The corners of his eyes burned as he kneeled down, resting on one knee and bowing his head, “ _Ni ceta-”_

“Cody.” 

The harshness of the word startled him back up to his feet. Of course. Of course this- this is what he expected. Obi-Wan would reject him, would tell him he never deserved to be forgiven. Obi-Wan would push him aside and that would be it. He would be left alone, unworthy to be by his General’s side. 

“Cody,” Obi-Wan continued, his tone softening. He pulled Cody’s head down to knock against his own forehead. “ _Vor entye_. I love you, so much. I have missed you dearly. And not once have I blamed after I learned the truth. 

Leaning forward, they leaned against each other, trying to soak in the feel of the other for the first time in years. This moment, this moment brought them together finally, despite so much trying to tear them apart. They finally made it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Mando'a Translations:  
> vod-Brother  
> vode- brothers/ the name for the clones  
> Cuyir bic him?- Is it him?  
> Ni ceta- I kneel  
> Vore entye- I accept a debt/thank you  
> Ni kar'taylir darasuum- I love you


End file.
